illumi was going to steal hisoka's wallet but now he doesn't have to
by gyaru1996
Summary: illumi's first meeting with hisoka didn't really go according to plan


The man's appearance was compelling, to say the least. The Republic of Padokea wasn't a stranger to peculiar fashion choices (one look at both himself and Killua was enough to confirm this), but it wasn't every day Illumi saw someone with turquoise hair, pink hoop earrings, and very obvious nen making their waist appear smaller than physically possible. Yeah, this was the guy. Taking a sip of his tea and crossing his legs, Illumi surveyed the man from the safe distance of the cafe terrace he had chosen for his stakeout. The sun was close to setting, but the pervasive heat left illumi seeking shelter under a wide umbrella, which was ideal for this type of work. Inconspicuous, but right in the middle of everything important.

The assassin mentally jotted down notes about his subject. Upon closer inspection, this man was also rocking blue eyeshadow and face paint, and appeared to be purchasing assorted candies and gum. Definitely one of the stranger people Illumi had seen on the job. But this "gentleman" wasn't his actual _target_ , no. He was simply someone who had information pertaining to what Illumi needed. A phone number that was crucial to his job was likely tucked away on his person. Simply killing him and taking it seemed excessive, especially as he'd been told this man was exceptionally strong. Perhaps Illumi could use him later. Killing those he could use for his own means later on really was a waste.

Illumi was torn from his reverie by the man making a sudden movement. It appears someone had snuck up behind him with the intent to kill (He really was a big deal, huh. First an assassin, now a surprise attack). Luckily for Illumi, it appeared his unofficial target was not only strong, but also proficient at nen. Illumi also learned that his name was Hisoka, as this is what his would-be killer yelled as he attacked. The man who had tried to _kill Illumi's source of information_ was violently thrown against a building, then ricocheted back towards the other with something Illumi didn't quite catch in time with his Gyo. Upon being yanked back, however, he was met with… a playing card?... to the throat. Illumi shifted in his seat. The man's head fell to the ground, but the reaction this got from Illumi was nothing compared to what he felt when Hisoka turned to look directly at him and _smiled_.

Illumi snapped up from his relaxed position and prepared to fight, just in case. Hisoka had gone beyond his expectations, and Illumi wasn't sure if he could predict what was going to happen next. It dawned on him that perhaps he could use a little more practice with keeping his own nen contained in cases where his mission was in danger of sabotage. An aura like his was a dead giveaway if gone unchecked. To his surprise, however, instead of attacking him or even sending out a significant amount of violent intent, Hisoka simply jumped over the small fence separating Illumi's cafe from the road and leaned against the opposite side of the table.

"Like what you see?"

"Hardly. A few minutes of observation you and someone already wants you dead. It makes me question your principles."

"Would you have been jealous if he got to me first? I'm assuming a Zoldyck watching me means I should be _frightened_ ".

Illumi did not like Hisoka. His tone was secretive in a way that absolutely oozed with mocking, and he hadn't been informed Hisoka would be able to identify him. Where his information came from, Illumi didn't know, but he would be sure to figure out who was responsible and act accordingly. Really, there was so much hassle involved in aspects of his life that had no business being so annoying.

The primary source of Illumi's most recent hassle leaned even closer and tilted his head. "So, what was the price? How much is my life worth?"

Unbelievable. The audacity of this man! To assume Illumi would waste so much time and energy on a target. If Hisoka had been his intended kill, he would have in all likelihood never seen Illumi until mere seconds before his death, _if_ Illumi was feeling generous.

That was quite enough. Pushing away his chair, Illumi stood up and turned on his heel to exit the terrace. Useful or not, Hisoka was getting on his nerves, and there were plenty of other potential ways to find his target and keep this presumptuous man on file for later. However, before he had the chance to step away, Illumi realized he simply _couldn't._ Although he could technically move, the feeling of being pulled back by something was undeniable. Realizing it was the same technique used in Hisoka's attack earlier, Illumi turned to throw the smiling man a disdainful glance.

"How embarrassing of me! To assume a Zoldyck would be gracious enough to let me see them before taking me out. Clearly I drew the wrong conclusion."

The last part of his phrase was tinged with what Illumi recognized as a very thinly veiled layer of sexuality, and although it wasn't something he had never encountered on a job, it was enough to raise an eyebrow. Hisoka was still keeping Illumi in place, giving him little option besides to sit down and continue the conversation in the midst of what had effectively become a war zone. Murder, or any kind of violence in general, was rarely seen in the small town and Hisoka's presence itself was enough to cause a damn riot.

Paying no mind to the havoc he caused, Hisoka curled a strand of hair around his finger and loudly popped his gum.

"Could it be I have something you want? I'm happy to cooperate, for a price. Nothing big, just a favor", he said, almost dismissively. Owing Hisoka a favor wasn't in the plan, but Illumi could disappear at any time. Despite already knowing who he was, there was no way for Hisoka to find him again if Illumi didn't want to be found. Illumi was fairly certain Hisoka knew this. Why he offered his assistance anyway was unclear, but Illumi considered it anyway. He wasn't expecting Hisoka to offer it so easily, and with such a vague catch he didn't have to worry too much.

"I think… you have a way to get in contact with my _actual_ target" Illumi said, somewhat hesitantly.

"You want the information? An interesting way to meet someone, playing the role of a middleman in a murder." Another gum bubble, but this one a different color (how on Earth?)

"Don't act like I'm the one responsible for you getting involved. No one is supposed to have this information, and the fact that you've held on to it for the greater part of a year and are alivespeaks volumes. I don't know what you've done, nor would I like to, but I can assure you if someone assists me with a job they are very rarely innocent."

"I never claimed to be. And, actually, I have a rule. I don't do business with those I don't really know. We'll have to get drinks if you want my services.", Hisoka said. "Oh! I'll pay", he added, as a small afterthought. _How sweet!_

Considering he had successfully identified Illumi as a member of the Zoldyck family minutes within meeting him, Illumi doubted Hisoka actually needed more information. He could have just said that he wanted to go to a bar. Illumi had nothing else to do, and this was but a small formality.If Hisoka needed his services later, so be it. For now, Illumi was okay with indulging his small whim.


End file.
